• Albert Einstein
    Try not to become a man of success.
    Rather become a man of value.
  • L. Tolstoy
    There is no greatness where there is no,
    simplicity, goodness and truth.
  • Richard Bach
    Avoid problems, and you'll never
    be the one who overcame them.
  • Confucius
    The man who moves a mountain begins
    by carrying away small stones.
  • Confucius
    The man who moves a mountain begins
    by carrying away small stones.

About Marijampolė county Men's Crisis Center

      „Women and men - are all equivalent components in our society. It is natural and socially fair that in all areas of life it should be given equal rights and opportunities to both of them, so the position of women and men could be the same, that a potential of women and men could be used efficiently in state's economic growth and well-being of all society"- said D. Jankauskas - former minister of Social Security and Labour, in one of the LR Seimas European Information Office at event organized by Ministry of Social Security and Labour in partnership with European Institute for Gender Equality. Because in Lithuania women are more active and because of not receiving an initiative and help from self-sacrificable men who would be able to help to remain as dignified human beings in crisis situations for: fathers, brothers, sons, friends or family members, Marijampolė County Women's activity Centre's steering group joins the Kaunas County Men's Crisis Centre project - "Men's crisis centers creation and service expansion" which is funded by the Lithuanian-Swiss Cooperation Programme and is bringing together a group of initiative individuals which in 2013 March founded and on May 27 at Marijampolė records center registered new Lithuania's Men's crisis center - "Marijampolė County Men's Crisis Center".

      Established men's crisis center staff learns how to work with men's and women's groups by adapted program from Denmark of violent behavior modification techniques and "Duluth" (applicable in USA and Canada) model.

Mission
– to help and not to judge those who need help.

Objectives:
• To help men find themselves in a crisis situation and to help their family members.
• Provide support and hope, target to other organizations which could help men.
• To assist in changing violent lifestyle to a life without violence and without human rights violations against the loved ones.
• To organize individual and group consultations for persons wishing to change a violent lifestyle.
• To help men who are in crisis situation find out why this is happening to them? What is done wrong and why?

Violence and abuse are actions that harm and damage.

We will help to understand and learn about:
1. What is violence and coercion?
2. Why I am a violator?
3. That I can control my behavior and I do not need to be violent.
4. Learn to take responsibility for your own behavior and do not blame others (partner) that she provoked you to do so.
5. To understand whatimpact you are doing to your partner and children.
6. Learn and recognize what are the signals indicating that I am becoming aggressive and stop before violent behavior.
7. Learn to solve problems with your partner in non-violent way and without violence.
8. Negotiation and listening - techniques which are used for creation of respectful relationships.

How to know that you are using violence against your partner?
Portrait of the perpetrator
1. Acute manner, quickly takes offense, reacts to the smallest frustration or dispute.
2. Selfish and jealous. Experiencing a strong desire to control his partner.
3. His sense of masculinity depends on the woman's belonging to him.
4. Keeps superficial relationships with other people.
He shares the privileged relationship only with his partner.
5. Poor self-esteem.
6. His expectations of the partnership are rigid and he does not allow to compromises. He insists that his wife would change and would meet his expectations.
7. Self-fraud. He blames his partner for the difficulties in their relationship.
8. The dual personality - he is charming, he is ruthless. He is selfish and magnanimous - depending on the mood.
9. The main attribute of the perpetrator - the ability to deceive, to mislead others. If only he needs to, he can be cool, calm, charming and reliable.
10. Partner for him simply - just a symbol. Perpetrator associate relationship with her not as with personality but only as a "significant other" symbol.

Need to know:
What damage is caused by violence to a partner.

Violence effect on family's health:
     Using physical violence you may injure your partner, she can feel pain, numbness in the extremities, from physical violence appears bruises, can break bones, picks out hair, appers internal bleeding and bruises. Sometimes men in violence moment do not realize what they are doing and how they are damaging their partner, it can lead not only to serious injuries and disability, but even to the death.

Psychological violence also has consequences:
     Victim is always tense, her quality of sleep is going worse, appears various phobias, there is constant concern, panic strokes, heart and stomach work is going worse.
It happens that:
     Disrupts menstrual cycle, caughts sexually transmitted diseases from partners who are cheating.
Some women being unable to stop the violence are seeking for a variety of "relaxation" ways - start to use alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, sedatives, begins self-harm, attempts to suicide.

     Of course, violence affects women's psychological well-being. She feels vulnerable, unloved, damaged, terrified depressed, apathetic, constantly experiences stress, tension, shame and fear.

Violence in family effects on children:
     • Many people deceive themselves by thinking that children have no idea what is violence in family. Practice and statistics show that when there is violence in family children are close - usually in another room.

     • Hearing /seeing violence makes children vulnerable and in many cases they are at risk of violence

    • When seeing, hearing violence child is consistently in alert, tense, tries to protect mother, brothers, sisters.

    • On another day by seeing bruises a child gets involved into a dispute, one of the ways he/she - tries to humiliate father, make mother laugh, he/she may show favor to mother and slander father, or contrary he/she can fear father and in that way tell him false information or mother's secrets about her and her actions.

    • Children are often involved to be witnesses. Knowing that mother experiences stress and becomes depressed, child suffers, he/she becomes sensitive, nervous, his/her health is getting worse.

    • The child is separated from mother's kindred, friends, because it is limited mother's interaction with them. In this way a child is experiencing direct violence.

    • The child experiences neglect. At violence time he/she is told to leave home, to keep away.

    • The child behaves differently when near is violent father (although he is not violent at that time), he/she tries not to create a conflict which may turn into violence, he/she is constantly stressed out, scared. Child is taught not to tell to anyone about violence in family, to keep it in secret, it is difficult for him/her to keep it all suppressed inside, but in that time he/she also fears that he/she will tell someone and then will feel father's violence.

    • The child thinks that many parents disputes are because of his behavior. He/she accepts the guilt for his father's violence and abuse.

    • Sometimes the child is forced to leave homes for safety, an asylum is searched for him/her.

    • After prosecutor setting a supervision measure the child can no longer see his/her father or visiting hours are set for that with a care of specialists.

    • The child is experiencing shame and often bullying, belittling from other children who know about his/her family's situation (about violence).

    • Even if a child does not see violence and accidentally hears about it, there is still damage done to him.

Imagine how a child should feel when he/she knows, overhears, sees that his mother suffers abuse and it is not clear how it will end.

Researches show that children experiences long-term damage even when they do not see direct violence or there is no violence against them. They feel that.


     We are offering help. You just need to call us by phone numbers: 00370 343 59525 or +370 633 55007 every workday from 11.00 to 17.00 and come to us on agreed time. Write to us, ask us marvkc3@gmail.com, let's discuss on website's Forum webpage on your topics of interest.

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